brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
