Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Blood and glitter go together right?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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