Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
