I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
