Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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