and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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