Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
