Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How external is "for external use only"?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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