I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
