Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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