omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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