I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
