matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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