i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
