She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
