weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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