you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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