I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
