Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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