Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize