Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
