We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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