So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
