Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
