Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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