you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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