I skipped work to stalk him.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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