This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
