this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
