Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
