I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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