hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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