Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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