Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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