better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize