Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
