That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
