There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
