She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
