come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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