if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
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