Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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