Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
