fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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