i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize