I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You are a genius and a whore.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
