I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
