Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
