I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
