I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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