it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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