You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
