He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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