just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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