Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
