She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
