Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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